I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend who shared that she feels that a woman needs to be in a "good" place to make an atypical change such as going gray. She needs to be in a good relationship or comfortably single. Her career path needs to be steady and she needs to appreciate herself as is. I feel this was a good observation as without that we feel the need to change something to help us feel more confident. We may go on a diet, start a fitness program, alter our physical appearance, or color our hair. I feel she is correct as I am in a good place and may not have and the courage to make this move otherwise. I do exercise regularly and eat in a healthful way, I got remarried a few years ago and have never been in such a healthy relationship. I am thankful for my family, friends, and enjoy my job. If I were not in this "good" place would I have the courage to show my true colors?
As I reflect further on this I consider what if the key to getting to a "good" place is acceptance? I personally feel we can always learn more, be more fit, be better spouses, parents, or friends; in other words continual improvement should be a goal. But what if we are more accepting of ourselves along our journey? That the changes we embark on are those that belong to us alone. As we actively change those qualities that do not bring our lives into the place we want to be and yet continue to appreciate who we are along the way would this bring each of us to that "good" place? If instead of beating ourselves up over someone else's vision of beauty, ideal body image, complexion, or hair color we embrace our uniqueness and treat ourselves and each other with loving kindness instead - empowering but not easy indeed. To truly accept oneself is easy when not looking in the proverbial "mirror" set by others around us but simply spending time with loved ones and enjoying things that bring happiness. I still feel some uncertainty but I am going to continue this path and see how it goes - maybe I need to get rid of some "mirrors" to make the path easier.