This entry is from a dear friend of mine 'MM'. MM and I differ in our approach to embracing our gray yet we share similar concerns and the simple desire to feel good about ourselves. Feeling good is a basic element that many of us desire yet sometimes seems fleeting depending on our appearance OR is it what we feel others think of our appearance? The goal of this blog is to share our thoughts and feelings in support and encouragement regardless of our choices. You are awesome MM - thanks for the courage of going first!
I am in my mid fifties and I have been gray since my early 30's. I have no idea what my hair really looks like because I have been coloring it since the first gray appeared. Do I want to see myself in the gray? I can say yes, I'd like to see that, but I don't think I want to live with it. At least not yet. Why would that be....gray is just another color of hair, right? Am I bowing to the perception that if you're gray you're old? Maybe.
I know a couple of women who have embraced their gray and they wear it well. In fact, they look fabulous! I do wonder if I could carry it off. I do not think I could and I'll tell you why. I look at some of my relatives (we all grayed early) that I share traits with, like facial features, complexion coloring who are sporting their natural gray and I am not wowed by the look. And for the few friends I have that look great, I also have friends that have gone natural and they do look old I am sorry to say. I think I would look the same. In addition, the texture of my gray is coarse and wiry....unless it is colored. It is easier to manage when sporting the highlights and lowlights.
Ok, so get real you say...... Truth is, instead of embracing the gray, I embrace the adage that if you look good, you feel good. For 55, I think I look darn good. Why would I want to spoil that? My hair is a part of feeling that I look good. I want to have the confidence I feel. I like that feeling....who doesn't. I want to feel good about myself. Frankly, I am not convinced that I would if I were au naturel.
I'd like to raise one more point and perhaps it is shallow. I am divorced and therefore 'single'. While I am not hitting the bars or dating sites looking for a mate, there is the possibility that I will meet someone. And let's be honest...there are people that just don't get the gray hair. So I ask you ladies that love your gray and are married or in a relationship..... would you have done it if you were not? Would you feel as confident in going natural if you did not have a love in your life that supported you, complimented you and told you they would love you no matter what color your hair? Think about it.
So, when my hair looks good, I feel good. And what's wrong with that? My color works for me now. I am not closing the door on embracing my gray. I am just not ready to open it and walk through right now.
I'll let you know how I feel in 5 years. :) MM