Today I am going to ask if you will join me in a challenge. It is not one that you can post on Facebook but one that you can post on your heart and in your mind. In putting this challenge out it is important to say that I am not perfect, nor do I have a growth mindset at all times but every minute I can start again and work on being a better version of myself.
Let me ask you this; can we use today as a starting point to begin to change the narrative. To transition from listening to break down others thoughts to listening to build a better solution or to simply understand. Diversity of thought helps us all see any situation from all perspectives in order to gain a full and complete awareness. Personally I love when many diverse ideas are thrown at a topic in the hopes of getting to the best possible solution or a complete awareness. But it is often so hard to see how the comments are working towards a solution, how the ideas sound like absolutes when there is grey, how thoughts are shared with implied or overt hate, or how opinions are often stated as fact. We criticize each other for defaulting to our human tendencies of fight or flight, humor to cope or avoid, emotion or logic, etc. We will never handle situations in one way or even see things in one way - thank God for that as how boring that would be.
The challenge is two parts, if you choose to accept. First, the next time you read or hear something that is different from how you currently think, I am asking you to pause and to look for the inclusion of the diversity of this new thought or different way of thinking. To find one thing you can agree with and instead of attacking another opinion, their fear, logic, or humor to instead share where you agree or at least can understand another’s perspective. Maybe even ask why someone feels a certain way or to clarify what was said. I wonder how the other person would feel when we do this and how more open to our perspective others would be if first we hear theirs? We can all recall someone who just shot down our ideas or thoughts without even pausing to consider what was said. Not only do we feel slighted we do not feel heard. It feels good when people hear us, even if they do not agree. We are also more likely to listen to another when we are respected enough to be heard first.
Secondly, be quick to forgive or to not be so easily offended. Quite often we think we hear a tone in a message or an implied slight. Was it really there or was the message from a tired or stressed voice. What else could be going on now with the messenger or what was in their past that might make them unable to share more gently. Can we forgive their humanness and look for the real meaning and not just what seems to be on the surface.
Once we really listen to another, then use “I” messages to share your views without anger, offense or absolute language we often use. In my opinion, besides our bodies ceasing to function as we know them today, I really cannot think of another thing that is perfectly absolute.
United We Stand, divided we fall could not be more true than in our current situation. Please join me in this challenge to hear and respect one another, as if we can, our world can truly become the home we are all looking for.