A Tale of Three Women

Grow old gracefully… yea right! 

My life is a tale of three women: who I was, who I am, and who I will be. 

Who I was:

I was stubborn, bold, determined, sporty, nurtured a strong body, had great (black) hair. I look back at the beautiful, younger me with raven hair and no wrinkles who didn't need anyone nor would ever ask for help. Acne: I had plenty of that, with a load of insecure thoughts and youthful self-doubt.

Often in our youth we obsess with trying to find our purpose and figuring out who we are and who we are going to be. Yet, as we age we look back to those times as the best of times.  Sure, they were more carefree.  My major worries were where to go out dancing on Friday and Saturday nights. It was a great time and I do miss that excitement. Yet I also remember the sadness of youth as one tries to discover what life is about and the value one brings to it. Before I thought that maybe if only I looked differently and had more money life would be better. Well…that’s what I thought.

Who I am now:

I am still bold, not as stubborn, and a lot more secure. I am not afraid of taking on any challenge and have no problem stating that I don't know something or need help. My body is imperfect, but I love it, as I run, practice yoga or feel my husband’s arms around me. Time has only mellowed me and allowed me to truly blossom into the woman I am.  My children are growing and I find myself becoming more carefree again, as I am getting back into the activities that bring me joy. So then why do I feel afraid of the physical appearance of time?

Who I will be:

So what is the big deal about age and its veil of wrinkles and gray hair? 

Is it the passage of time that I worry about? Is it the potential inability to experience life with the joy and energy that I have cherished so far? Or is it the finality of it all? 

The journey I am on is to discover this and face it head on. The best way to do this is to ‘Embrace the Gray’ that has infused my once beautiful dark hair to challenge the societal norms and those that are made up in my head that define a reality that does not exist.